Jay's Top Players on the Bachelorette

Elle and I have this thing about picking the Bachelorette winner (or any other competition-based show winner) right from the get-go.  I've been pretty good at this, but haven't been correct every single time.  I'm going to show my top picks here in no real particular order, but I do have some strategy to my selection.  My top 8 are as follows (I'll identify my top 3 within these as I go):

Stevie, the Real Green Lantern:

The guy knows how to make an entrance... maybe the kind of entrance that appeals to high school girls, but still worthy of ratings if he's kept around.  I can't knock the guy for having a youthful spirit, but we'll see if he can be a man when the time calls for it.  P.S. I think his fav color is green.

Ryan, aka Shovel-Face:

Alright, I suppose it may be a bit harsh to call someone "Shovel-Face" but I'm seriously jealous of this guy's chin.  It's like superhero-chiseled.  In fact, I'm confident that this man's chin has been used to forge actual chisels.  He seemed like an okay guy, so I'll cut him some slack in the future.

Arie, aka Speed Racer:

I'm taking a chance with Arie... I actually think he's pretty cool, but I'm concerned that sooner or later he will do something that will bring back a bad memory for Emily.  I predict she will fall for him about half-way before she runs for the hills.  Sorry Arie, for what it's worth, I'm still rooting for ya.  I'm still putting you in my top 3.

Joe, aka Matthew McConna-Heeeey

Alright alright... Joe seems suave and I'm sure he'll go far.  He was a close contender for the top 3, but I think Emily will soon find out that he's an impersonator by night.  Real Matthew McConaughey fact:  he chooses not to wear deodorant or anti-perspiration products.  Let's hope Joe doesn't take his impersonations too far or Emily's going to smell disaster.

Chris, aka Bobble-head:

I wasn't prepared to give Bobble-head a fair chance when he pulled out the dolls, but Emily seemed to go for it.  Is it just me, or was that whole scene kinda creepy?  I know Elle thought so as well.  Could our Bachelorette be kinda crazy-cakes?  If so, Chris could be the perfect match... still not top 3 though.

Charlie aka Winner:

I'm calling it right now... as long as there isn't some hidden catastrophe lurking about Charlie, I think he's going to win.  He's level-headed, understands what it's like to experience bad times, and he's cool.  I would hang out with him for sure - not in a bromance type of way, but if the guy was in the same room as me, he wouldn't stick out like that freak with the ostrich egg.  Keep it real Charlie (top 1 of the top 3).

Jef (with one "f") aka Sk8r:

His hair couldn't fit into my picture most likely due to how fast he goes on his skateboard.  A true skater at heart, Jef knows that chicks dig scars, and bones heal.  Sk8r can come off as a bad-ass to some ladies, but as the spelling of his name suggests, I feel like something is lacking.  I hope Jef proves me wrong because I think he has potential.

Kalon, aka Helicopter Guy:

Can you say pretentious?  Helicopter guy can.  He's a legend in his own mind and subscribes to the belief that Turkish Delight spills from every single one of his orifices.  The guy is too much, which makes him perfect for my final pick for top 3.  I have a feeling we will have a lot to say about helicopter guy.  I would wage that the producers of the show begged Emily to keep him around for pure entertainment value.

Those are my top picks... I think these guys will be around for a while.  I hope we can get some interactive commentary tonight at 9:00 p.m. PST.  Thanks for reading!